Are You All In… or Halfway Out the Door?

I once heard someone say, “If you give yourself a way out, you’ll take it.” It stuck with me, because I realized how often we think we’re committed, yet quietly keep an escape route nearby — a backup job, a backup partner, a backup plan for our dreams. It feels responsible, even smart. But if we’re honest, it’s also a way of protecting ourselves from going all in. And when you’re not all in, you’re never really there.

Research calls this the Backup Plan Paradox. The very act of creating a Plan B can drain the urgency, focus, and energy we need for Plan A. Not because we’re lazy, but because when the mind knows there’s a safety net, it relaxes. The stakes feel lower. Without realizing it, we stop fighting as hard, stop creating as boldly, and stop giving the kind of attention that makes a goal thrive.

But when you remove the exit sign, everything changes. You tap into a deeper well of creativity and grit. In a relationship, it means being fully present — not keeping one foot in and one foot out. In business, it means committing your talent and time to the vision you believe in, instead of splitting it between your dream and your safety net. In fitness, it’s no longer about “starting fresh on Monday,” but showing up for yourself every single day. Even in money, it’s deciding to save and invest first, not “if there’s anything left” at the end of the month (read my budget tips here).

Ideas for Going All In

• Savings Plan – Automate transfers to savings before you spend anything else, making your future the top priority.

• Fitness Plan – Choose your program and commit for a set period (30, 60, or 90 days) without switching or “taking breaks.”

• One Sport – Instead of dabbling in three different activities, focus on mastering one — give it your full attention and training.

• Work or Career – Stop job-hunting “just in case” and invest fully in making your current role or business succeed.

• Starting a Business – Create a clear plan, set a launch date, and give it your all without endlessly keeping your day job as a fallback. Read Amy Porterfield's Two Weeks Notice to help with this. 

• Learning a New Skill – Pick one area to focus on and commit to regular, scheduled practice until you reach your goal.

• Enrolling in a Class – Sign up, pay in full, and commit to attending every session — no skipping unless absolutely necessary.

Of course, it’s riskier. That’s the point. When you have no alternative, you find ways to make things work. You adapt faster. You problem-solve better. You dig deeper when it gets hard. Going all in doesn’t mean being reckless; it means aligning your actions with what you say matters most. It’s deciding that this — the relationship, the dream, the move, the goal — is worth your whole heart.

So here’s my challenge to you: pick one area of your life that matters most right now, and commit for the next 30 days without a backup plan. No hedging. No “just in case.” Give it your full presence, energy, and belief. See what happens when you stop living in the doorway and step all the way inside. You might just discover that going all in is the very thing that makes it possible to win.